We all know that Demi Moore and Mariah Carey were married to men much younger than themselves. But, did you know that Hugh Jackman, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and French president Emmanuel Macron also have older wives with an age difference of 13, 23, and 24 years respectively? These days, it’s not rare to find cougars, where the women are much older than their male counterparts (who are referred to as ‘cubs’). Of course, the guys have to be at least 18 years old.
While there’s no specified age difference between the two parties to qualify the woman as a ‘cougar’, the accepted norm for her age starts from late-30s. If a woman is in her 20s to early 30s, she’s considered a ‘puma’.
The Inevitable Cougar
In the arena of gender equality, it’s not surprising that women are climbing the socioeconomic ladder as fast as their male counterparts. With this newfound wealth, they are technically free of the ‘need’ to marry for money or stability.
While many cougars are self-sufficient – perhaps they’re successful businesswomen – there are those who’ve attained their wealth through marriage. It’s not uncommon to find rich divorcee cougars, being that they have both time and money at their disposal.
Some folks still raise eyebrows at younger male partners, but physiologically it makes sense: women statistically live longer than men, and studies have shown that older women have sex drives similar to young men.
Plus for men, dating someone older has some perks, as one anonymous guy admitted to in an interview with Her World: “Even though I constantly offered to pay when we went out, she would always pick up the tab, even if we were at a high-end restaurant. She would always send me home after a date even though we lived on opposite ends of the island. She even gave me a smartphone worth over $800 to replace my ratty old model when she picked up a new one for herself. She had no qualms about doing things usually expected of the man in a relationship – paying the bills, driving us around and constantly having me over at her house.” He was dating her boss, who was 9 years his senior.
The Irresistible Older Woman?
If TV series like Sex and the City or Cougar Town are anything to go by, it’s not a stretch to say that cougars are on the rise. Google ‘cougar hunter’ and you’ll see the number of cubs interested in older women.
It probably helps that these 40-something women are setting the standards for cougar beauty – these days, with gym memberships and beauty treatments, mature women are looking better than they did in the past.
But looks are not a prerequisite – confidence and stability are big factors for cougars in the eyes of cubs. Cougars also know what they want, so they’re selective when it comes to cubs.
Ask around your peers, and you’ll probably find that most guys these days don’t mind dating confident older women. The perks are plenty: older women are more emotionally stable; they’re more liberal (and experienced); they are less financially needy; and they’re less likely to be clingy.
The Road Ahead
We often think nothing of couples with an older male partner, but when the roles are reversed, we do a double take. However, in recent years, marriages involving older women are on the rise – both locally and in traditionally paternal countries like South Korea. Will this trend become a norm, or will people still be skeptical of such unions?
For some Singaporean women, age is nothing but a number, as Redditor lappingjellyfish posts: “Depends on emotional maturity, which surprise, is sometimes not related to biological age. I’ve met guys older than me who act like babies, and I’ve met younger guys who are wiser than me. I definitely prefer a mature guy over an immature one, whatever their age.“
